• REST WEEK: THE RECAP

    It’s been a minute since I came back from a much-needed rest week. As promised, I wanted to recap the experience and thought it would be oh-so-fun to present this post in a Q&A format. Let’s get this show on the road! Wait…what’s a rest week? I thought you were only supposed to rest for a day? When it comes to fitness (and food…and alcohol…and fashion…and hobbies…and…), there is no “one size fits all.” There’s a learning curve that comes with taking care of yourself. One of the things that you will learn throughout your own fitness journey is when you need to take a breather. I can’t speak for…

  • TRANSPARENCY TUESDAY: I HURT MY BACK AND I’M PISSED

    “You have to look through the rain to see the window!” “Everything happens for a reason.” “Let go…and let GOD.” “When life gives you lemons…” If you’ve had a bad day at any point during your time on this planet, you’ve likely been on the receiving end of one of the aforementioned phrases. If you’re like me, you’ve also looked at the person(s) saying these things and have fantasized about jamming a very sour lemon down this person’s very peppy throat. Now, I can be a bit of a pessimist. “You don’t say?!”  I know, I know. I’m the poster child for all things bright and shiny. “If that girl could shit…

  • HERE’S HOW MANY BURPEES YOU NEED TO DO TO ENJOY A MARGARITA

    Clickbait is fun, isn’t it? Oh. Here’s the answer: none. We are exactly one month away from the first official day of summer. If you live in Florida, there’s a chance you just muttered an obscenity. If you live anywhere that dips below 60 in the winter, you’ve likely already turned the blender on and are halfway through your second margarita… But wait…what’s that? In between sips, you stop scrolling through Instagram…your eyes are glued to the screen. There in front of you, defiled with a big red ‘X’, is a picture of a margarita posted by a fitness guru with a caption that explains just how many calories you’ll…

  • “REST IS FOR THE WEARY,” SAYS THE WEARY GIRL

    Life isn’t fair. It’s an unfortunate, universal truth that manifests itself in a multitude of ways. For those in the fitness community, the harsh reality of life is usually presented as a physical ailment of sorts. I find it partly cruel and partly hilarious that I have the drive to be at the peak of physical excellence, but I have a body that refuses to sustain such a strenuous lifestyle. Last week, I didn’t write a single article for the Worried Wino. I was exhausted physically, which in turn, exhausted me mentally. Every day felt like a struggle. Every push-up felt twenty pounds heavier. Coming out of every squat felt as if…

  • DROP IT LIKE IT’S HOT [YOGA]

    The calm before the storm I am not a relaxed person. When someone tells me to find my “center,” I usually tell them to f*ck off. I don’t enjoy drum circles and meditating makes my back hurt. Walking into a yoga studio alone for the first time was daunting, not only because of my social anxiety but because I’ve simply never enjoyed yoga. As someone who is used to throwing weight around, getting chalk in my hair, and yelling obscenities to the heavens, yoga has always seemed a bit too soft for me. It turns out that I’m an asshole because yoga is hardcore. There are a handful of practices one can…