• HERE’S HOW MANY BURPEES YOU NEED TO DO TO ENJOY A MARGARITA

    Clickbait is fun, isn’t it? Oh. Here’s the answer: none. We are exactly one month away from the first official day of summer. If you live in Florida, there’s a chance you just muttered an obscenity. If you live anywhere that dips below 60 in the winter, you’ve likely already turned the blender on and are halfway through your second margarita… But wait…what’s that? In between sips, you stop scrolling through Instagram…your eyes are glued to the screen. There in front of you, defiled with a big red ‘X’, is a picture of a margarita posted by a fitness guru with a caption that explains just how many calories you’ll…

  • LIFE IS BETTER ON A TIGHTROPE: WORK/LIFE BALANCE ISN’T A “PERK,” IT’S A NECESSITY

    It’s been a little over a year since I wrote an article revealing one of the biggest sources of my anxiety: career uncertainty. Much to my surprise, it was well-received. The declarative, “I thought I was the only one,” was found time and time again within the confines of my inbox. While being human has its fair share of challenges, one of the advantages of besting the evolutionary process is the ability to self-reflect. I’ve found myself thinking a lot lately about where I was then, where I am now, and where I am going. Despite numerous attempts to lock down a concrete answer to each segment of that existential trifecta, I’ve…

  • “REST IS FOR THE WEARY,” SAYS THE WEARY GIRL

    Life isn’t fair. It’s an unfortunate, universal truth that manifests itself in a multitude of ways. For those in the fitness community, the harsh reality of life is usually presented as a physical ailment of sorts. I find it partly cruel and partly hilarious that I have the drive to be at the peak of physical excellence, but I have a body that refuses to sustain such a strenuous lifestyle. Last week, I didn’t write a single article for the Worried Wino. I was exhausted physically, which in turn, exhausted me mentally. Every day felt like a struggle. Every push-up felt twenty pounds heavier. Coming out of every squat felt as if…

  • DROP IT LIKE IT’S HOT [YOGA]

    The calm before the storm I am not a relaxed person. When someone tells me to find my “center,” I usually tell them to f*ck off. I don’t enjoy drum circles and meditating makes my back hurt. Walking into a yoga studio alone for the first time was daunting, not only because of my social anxiety but because I’ve simply never enjoyed yoga. As someone who is used to throwing weight around, getting chalk in my hair, and yelling obscenities to the heavens, yoga has always seemed a bit too soft for me. It turns out that I’m an asshole because yoga is hardcore. There are a handful of practices one can…

  • FROM THERE TO HERE: MY FITNESS JOURNEY

    I have a confession to make: If the universe bestowed upon me the perfect body, and I could have said perfect body without having to exercise or practice healthy eating habits, I would be a chocolate-filled couch potato 24/7. Most of us would, right? Now, don’t be that person; you know the person I’m talking about… “But, I love working out!” Bullshit. You love working out because you have to exercise. It’s good for your heart…or something along those lines. I, personally, do love working out to an extent. It’s a great way to escape from the crazy shit-show that is my head on a daily basis. Would I work out less and eat a LOT more mozzarella sticks…